Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Trying to get the kids to understand consequences

This week Hailey and I set the goal to start or should I say, revisit the teaching of consequences.  Of course when me make decisions we have to deal with the consequences both good and bad.  Who knows, maybe it is that summer break has been long, that school is about to start and we are just at the end of it, but it just seems like lately the kids act before thinking about the consequences.

Anyway, last night Hailey and I prepare a Family Home Evening about consequences.  We asked the kids questions like, "if you touch fire, what will happen?"  "should you be mad at the fire or at yourself?"  You should have heard the answers to the second question.    Obviously we explained that you know before you touch fire what will happen so if it hurts you should only be mad at yourself and not the fire.

We also asked questions like, "if you are nice to so and so, how will you feel?"  So we began to try and get them to realize each time they do something or act a certain way, they would have consequences.  I had read a blog some time ago or maybe I saw it on facebook, but a friend from high school had her own kids come up with their consequences for not behaving etc.  She said it was great because they made the list of consequences (punishments) so they could not argue when they had to face them.

Not only did we do negative consequences, but we let them list or pick positive ones too!  To be honest I really liked this part the best because I had no idea how excited they were when they were talking about the good things that can happen if they make good choices.  Their good consequences were not full of candy or tv or things, but rather family bike rides, walks to the sno shack, and spending time with us.  I loved hearing how great they said they would feel if they got MORE of that kind of stuff.

So, even though I do not have lots of good pictures and fun stories today, I thought it would be good to document this new effort in the Kandell home!  Make good choices, get good consequences.  Make bad choices and get bad consequences.  We will let you know how it goes.

Ps, here is a photo capture of a facetime call Hailey had with me to let Lucy tell me she was sorry for something.  I cannot remember what it was even one day later, but it was a fun call.

the guilt for doing something wrong.  Facetime call

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